


right where I belong, babe

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bi Jonah, F/M, bi amy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 09:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17681264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: They weren't friends in high school, they were friendly. But they weren't friends like that. Not until like, senior year.





	right where I belong, babe

**Author's Note:**

> For the Trope bingo square: au high school, title from Beautiful Girl by Pete Droge and Dave Stewart. Thanks A!!!! Not mine, no profit garnered. Beginning around circa 2003/2004.

Amy and Jonah were friends in high school, but not, like, great friends. They did debate together and theater, but Jonah had even more activities and he went to theater camp over the summer. Amy worked over the summer, at the movie theater, two years in a row. Neither of Amy's parents had finished college. Jonah's parents were both accountants. His father had an MBA. Both of Jonah's older brothers had graduated college by Jonah's senior year. He didn't even really look at the cost of colleges. He looked, sure, but he was pretty confident he could afford whatever. That was Amy's impression. 

"I like him fine," Amy said one afternoon. She and Adam had just had sex, and she had the window cracked open since they were both smoking actual cigarettes. Amy got stoned with some of her drama friends but Adam was super worried about pee tests since he played football. So he never got stoned. Amy had started smoking cigarettes so she could smoke pot and not look like an idiot. She liked the trashy danger of it. 

She focused on the topic at hand. "I like Jonah fine."

"He's a great guy, he's cool," Adam said. Adam was always so positive after sex. "You don't like him because he's rich."

"His parents are rich," Amy said. "But yeah. That's shitty of me. I guess I feel like it's unfair. But it's not his fault."

"Totally not his fault," Adam said. 

She had to work with him a lot one month because they were both preparing the same side for debate and they were both understudies in the spring play and Amy had let herself be partnered with him for an English project. It wasn't like he wasn't smart. He was totally smart. Not very cool. Not that Amy was cool, but she wasn't as uncool as Jonah. 

She went to his house for the third or fourth time. It was predictably nice and understated. He apologized while he poured her water. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I know I'm not your favorite," Jonah said. "You know."

"I like you, gawd," Amy said. 

"But I did date Renee, which was just a month," Jonah said.

"She's my best friend," Amy said. 

"Really?" Jonah shrugged. "Okay."

They had a good rhythm when they worked together, Amy did have fun. As long as she forgot he was rich and that he'd dated Renee, it was all good. 

He was nice. They knew mostly all the same people between debate and theatre. Honestly, she liked both his older brothers better, they weren't always nervous. One of them had been the lifeguard one summer at Amy's pool. 

They weren't really pretty like Jonah, either. 

Adam had heard Jonah was possibly gay which seemed not true since Renee had said they had had sex more than once. She'd been very vivid about it in a locked post on livejournal. 

"So he's not gay, he's bi," Adam said. "Whatever."

"Whatever," Amy said, nodding. She didn't like giving so much space to Jonah in her head. 

But having had that discussion meant she wasn't really surprised when she walked in on him making out with a hot college guy at a party some guy Renee knew was throwing. Amy had really just been looking for a bathroom. She was not just going to pee in the backyard like Adam. 

Amy tried to look past the guys to see if there was a bathroom behind them. There was. She was weighing what to do and being nice but she really really had to pee. She cleared her throat and said, "Not looking, just going to the bathroom!"

She dashed to the bathroom, closed both doors and locked them. No one else had found this bathroom. She felt a little powerful. 

After a leisurely washing of her hands, Amy went out. There was just Jonah on the bed, sitting and hunched over. She weighed her options again. She said, "Are you okay?"

"Great," he squeaked. "Good, definitely good."

Despite herself, Amy said, "Are you sure?"

"No, it's fine," Jonah said. 

Amy sat down next to him. "Where'd the cute guy go?"

"Back in a closet," Jonah said. He finally sat up. He had not successfully buttoned everything up on his button fly jeans. 

"We do live in Missouri," Amy said. "This isn't exactly, like, Chicago."

Jonah laughed a little and laid back on the bed. This was a guest room, Amy guessed. No personal items, everything a little generic. This house was pretty big, apparently so big that they could have a whole room and bathroom for people coming to stay. 

Amy said, "I'm a pretty judgmental person."

"Sure," Jonah said. "Why are you thinking about that?"

"Not because of you," Amy said. "Oh, god, that sounds dismissive. I mean, I was just thinking, wow, these people have a big enough house for a guest room. But it might just be an adult kid who went off to college. Or something. I'm not judging you for being bi. Or gay."

"Not gay," Jonah said. "I don't want to claim something I'm not."

"Of course," Amy said. Amy got up and looked out the window. The front lawn had already gotten a little trashed. She meant to say something about that but instead she said, "I think I'm going to break up with Adam."

"Why?" Jonah sounded shocked. 

She turned around. Jonah had clearly realized he needed to rebutton his fly since that was what he was doing. She said, "He's a nice guy. I don't think I'm super in love with him. I don't think he's super in love with me. We'll probably break up when we both go to college. It seems like a good idea."

"The only reason you really need to break up is that you want to break up," Jonah said. "We're all very young for forever."

"You sound like bad livejournal poetry when you say things like that," Amy said.

"You are judgmental," Jonah said. He didn't sound too upset.

"I am," Amy said. She sat back down next to him. "So, like, stay here. I'm going to go break up with Adam and then we should make out."

"You are very drunk," Jonah said. He backed away a little. 

"I'm a little drunk." She stood up. "You can stay or you can go. If you're still here when I get back, I will totally make out with you."

"Because I'm me, or because I'm sitting here?" Jonah rubbed at his forehead and his ridiculous lovely hair. 

"Because you're you," Amy said. "You're pretty."

"Thank you?"

Adam looked a little sad when they broke up but then he said, "I get it. I get it."

She went back upstairs and Jonah was still there. Except he was asleep. She got on the bed next to him and nudged his shoulder. He woke up with a start and said, "Hey. You're back." He reached out and his hand was in her hair, he had really nice hands and he kissed her. He had soft lips, too, and he smelled nice, too. She loved kissing him, it was surprising. She realized Renee had liked it, too. Amy hated that, but she liked kissing Jonah more. 

Then he stopped and sat up. He said, "I should get home. Sorry."

"I'm not a bad kisser," Amy said.

"You're totally not, but I am super sleepy, like so sleepy I'm falling asleep even though you're super hot and you kiss really well. I kinda have a long drive. It's not really long, but it's not nothing," he said.

"How far out in the suburbs do you live?" 

"You've been to my house," he said, laughing. "There's a Starbucks on the way. I could give you a ride."

"I live way in the other direction," Amy said. They were both sitting on the edge of the bed, Amy was sort of kicking her legs like a little kid. It was a tall bed. 

"Yeah, I could still give you a ride. Did you drive?"

"Nope," Amy said. "I didn't come with Adam." She giggled. "I came a lot with Adam. But not today."

Jonah was looking at her in a way she didn't usually see from him. Like he thought she was gorgeous or something. She said, "You're pretty."

"Thanks," he said. "You're beautiful."

"Thanks," she said, mumbling. She followed him downstairs and got in his very nice expensive car. 

Jonah said, "It's used. I didn't get it new. I know you hate my rich stuff."

"I don't hate it," she said. "I just get a little resentful. Like, you can do anything. Compared to me."

"Not completely," Jonah said. "But yeah, in comparison to a lot of people. I admit it, though. I'm not pretending I'm not rich."

"That's something," Amy said. "I didn't realize I wanted to make out with you until tonight." She realized he was driving towards her house. He was going to have a much longer drive home than he probably wanted. "So the whole break up wasn't about you."

"Oh, I know that," Jonah said. "I'm sure you've been building up to it for a while."

"But you wanted to make out with me before this?"

"Yeah, do you need that validation?" He laughed. She looked around and he was on her street. 

"I like it, who doesn't?" She kissed him before she got out of the car. She said, "Don't fall asleep on your way home."

"Promise," he said. 

In the morning, he'd left a hey I got home safe comment on her most recent livejournal post. She didn't update that enough. She wrote something about how Adam was the greatest guy and locked it to her friends. She added Jonah to her best friends filter and took Adam off that one. It was only a little mean. He barely read livejournal. 

School was a little awkward because Adam was aggressively nice to her and she was super nice right back and she was sure Renee was going to sleep with Adam any day now. She also had a ton of homework to catch up on for some reason. She was just barely finished with all her college applications and she didn't think she'd spent so much time with Adam, but she had a ton to do. She hunted Jonah down to the library and sat down next to him. "Hey," she said. She was totally cool.

He grinned at her and she didn't feel very cool. She felt like blushing and giggling. He was so annoying. He said, "So. Like, did you want to hang out? Or not?"

"No, definitely, we should hang out. Like, make out," Amy said. "But not tonight because I just realized I have about five million things due."

Jonah nodded. He said, "Of course. Yeah, me, too."

Amy said, "So how about tomorrow night?"

"Oh, you were serious, wow." Jonah grasped at his own hands. He had weird habits. "Tomorrow night. I can do something."

"We can watch a dvd? Do you have some? I assume you do," Amy said. 

"Yeah, yeah," Jonah said, nodding. "I actually, I have some documentaries that are really cool, I swear. And, uh, some older films. I'm thinking of majoring in film studies. My parents are really against it."

"They're right," Amy said. "But older films doesn't sound so bad."

Jonah's large mansion had a basement rec room. It was pretty nice for a basement rec room and they were sitting on a nice couch watching DVDs on a pretty big TV. Not huge, but big. Sitting there next to his skinny legs, she looked at her thighs and felt uncomfortable. Jonah must have sensed something because he snuggled closer and said, "You're so pretty. I thought for sure you didn't want to do something with me."

"You're pretty," Amy said. "And a good kisser." She took a deep breath. "What else do you do well?"

He was enthusiastic about making out. Good kissing, cuddly feeling her up which she didn't mind at all, and he was always willing to wait until she made the first move on everything. She felt like she was shoving his hand down her skirt. Once he got there, he had pretty skilled hands. He took guidance well. She actually almost came. 

The documentary was droning on about prison. She thought it was prison. She said, "Do you want a hand job?"

"I wouldn't, of course I do. I was going to say I wouldn't say no, but that sounds stupid," Jonah said. 

"You said it anyway," Amy said. He even had a pretty dick. 

When they went out on Friday, they just went to Amy's house and had full on sex on her bed. He was really insistent on using condoms. It was admirable, she guessed. 

She liked the after, where he was just next to her, and they were talking about TV or music and everything. He kept asking her about college and what she was going to major in and if she had plans for her future. He still thought film studies would be cool even though she kept saying it was not practical at all. 

"I think mostly people just care that you graduated," Jonah said. "Unless you're an architect. Or you major in hotel studies at Cornell."

"Why do you know that?" She laughed and kissed his cheek. 

He was fun to hang out with and they had great sex. But she was still trying to be cool and keep her shit together. He called her his girlfriend and she said, "I think that's a little too far."

He was definitely hurt. She said, "Sorry, I mean, we're dating. Boyfriend, girlfriend, that's a heavy thing."

"Heavy?" He looked mean. "Seriously? Because you don't care about me, I'm what? Insubstantial? You're not as cool as you think you are, Amy. I'm not embarrassing, you know. I'm not."

She wanted to say that he was totally embarrassing and she was cool. She was. But she knew right in that moment that she was a ridiculous teenager. She was completely ridiculous. She said, "I'm wrong. I'm sorry, I suck."

"Wow, you caved quick," Jonah said. "I'm still a little angry."

"I understand," Amy said. "You probably should be."

"Now I'm completely disarmed," Jonah said. "So do you want to come skiing with my family? As my girlfriend?"

"Sure," Amy said. "Do I have to ski?"

"A little, yes," Jonah said. "I love skiing."

Jonah was good at skiing, too. She only went on a few runs because she was borrowing everything and she didn't want to ruin anything. She also didn't want to break her leg. She hung out with Jonah's oldest brother Gideon and his middle brother's fiancee mostly. Gideon hadn't brought a date, unlike Jonah and Caleb. All things Simms made Amy feel very young and poor and Not White. 

"I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable," Jonah said. They shared a room but it had two double beds. It didn't stop them from having sex or even sharing a bed. They were teenagers. 

"I'm not, like, uncomfortable. It's just, wow, I kinda feel like I stand out. And not just because I'm not super into skiing."

"It's genetic," Jonah said, smiling. "They don't have skiing in Honduras."

She realized he was quoting one of her favorite songs from A Chorus Line. She said, "Good save. Cause I'm not from San Juan."

"I know," Jonah said. 

It was a fun trip. When they got back, and they were back at school, she felt like Jonah seemed pretty relaxed. Around her. Things were good.

She never said she was in love with him. She probably wasn't. She maybe had been with Adam. Maybe? She felt like she didn't even know what love was, really. How did love feel? Did any seventeen year olds even know the answer to that?

Jonah probably thought he did. He definitely thought he was in love with her. Maybe he was?

They went on dates and went to drunken parties and they'd sit together for lunch. They'd talk on IRC a lot when they were both in their homes doing homework. 

She really liked his bed. He had a king, which was so much room. She still had a twin. She liked the way he dressed, like, he had his own style and he really didn't care much about other people's ideas. He tended to talk a lot, he had so much enthusiasm. Part of her wanted to say it was because he was rich but some of it was really just Jonah. Just the way he was. It seemed really brave to Amy sometimes. 

Then he got in to Vassar and she got in to Northwestern. He was so excited for her. He bought her a beanie in Northwestern colors. "You look good in a hat," he said. 

"You, too," she said. 

She decided not to talk about the future. They were clearly not going to keep dating after the summer ended and they went off to college. She was being a coward. Jonah would start to say, "So in the fall --"

And she would say, "What do you think about that last Bush speech, huh?"

Which always worked in distracting him. She knew he knew she was avoiding the question. So he stopped asking. 

Until he could force her to answer. They went swimming at his fancy country club during a day she had off from Cloud 9. She tried not to be resentful that Jonah was just volunteering for the summer. It was the way the world worked. She was going to Northwestern and she would change her world, basically. That was the plan. 

So they were swimming with a bunch of other people; older and younger and other rich teenagers Amy didn't recognize from her high school. She pulled herself up and sat on the lip of the pool. Jonah pulled himself up next to her. She said, "Why didn't you go to private school? The one all these kids went to."

"It's a Catholic private school," Jonah said. 

"I know non-Catholic kids go to that school," Amy said. "But they're all some version of Christian, I guess."

"Yup," Jonah said. "So college."

"College," Amy said and dipped her hand in the water. It was a silly, useless thing to do. 

"I guess we're breaking up for that, huh," Jonah said. 

"It makes sense, don't you think? We're going to be far away. And it's hard to date long-distance," Amy said.

"Yup," Jonah said. He looked like he was trying very hard to be casual. She knew him well enough to see that now. She hated his trying to be cool face. 

"I'm sorry," Amy said. "I really care about you."

"I know," Jonah said. His face relaxed a little. 

"We can still email and chat," Amy said. "And we have two more weeks."

"We do," Jonah said. He slipped into the pool and tugged on her feet. "Come swim."

Two weeks passed like nothing. She worked a lot and in between she got ready for college or had sex on Jonah's bed and watched some dense documentary, shivering in the air conditioning. Jonah's house was always so cold. 

They said goodbye a few days before either of them left for college. They had really quick sex in Amy's car and then they were just holding hands and saying silly things. Jonah kept telling her the plot to Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It made no sense to Amy at all.

Northwestern was overwhelming. It was the most amazing place. Amy felt like she was drowning one day and like Wonder Woman the next day. It was so awesome. She made a ton of friends right away. She emailed Jonah on day two of college and he replied on day three. He was busy as fuck, too. She got the impression in those first few weeks that he was more overwhelmed than awesome with Vassar. But they were just sending each other quick sentences so she was just guessing. 

She finally called him at the six week mark. "Hey, hey."

"Hey, hey," Jonah said. 

"So, like, how's it going?"

Jonah started babbling. She heard about all his classes and all his new friends. He'd joined a few clubs, unlike Amy. Amy was waiting until she made it through the first finals. She had to think about her grades. She didn't know how much she could do without being distracted. 

"It's an adjustment," Amy said. "Like, not having my brother and sister around or my parents to check up on."

"You have so few people to be responsible for," Jonah said. 

It wasn't like she was going to admit he was right. But he was right. She thought and looked around her tiny dorm room. She said, "You're right."

She was focused on getting everything out of college. She was paying enough for it. After she did okay on her midterms, she joined stuff. She went to gatherings. She got really drunk again. She even met a boy or two. But boys were boring or assholes. She actually had more fun hanging out with all the unbelievably cool women she kept meeting. 

She might have made out with a few of the women, too. 

Amy went home for Thanksgiving and everything looked bigger. Not like the city she took for granted, driving around like a maniac focused only on herself. Now she felt opened up. She looked up at the buildings and even the Arch and was almost dizzy. 

She barely saw anyone from high school. But Jonah called her and she answered. They went to a movie. 

He looked worse. More manic and frazzled. He told her before the previews started his parents were getting a divorce. His dad had cheated. And moved out. She took his hand and squeezed. She said, "That sucks so much." 

He looked at her befuddled but he said, "Thanks." 

The movie was actually pretty cool. "Should I read the Harry Potter books? This movie was fun."

"The cinematography was incredible, wow," Jonah said. "The books are fun. You'd like them." 

He'd picked her up in his car and now it was time to drive her home. She said, "You can come in if you want to avoid your house for a while. Everybody's off at the black Friday sales so we have the place to ourselves." 

"Is this pity sex? Or not, sorry, I'm assuming. I apologize, I don't think of you like that. Well, I think about having sex with you a lot. Though I'm sure you've had new partners, me, too, of course --"

She kissed him to get him to stop talking. Then they had sex on her bed. He looked about the same naked. Skinnier, which made her feel fatter, but he was still Jonah. He never made her feel less than beautiful, even if she really wasn't. 

After, Amy said, "So is your dad moving out? Or what?"

Jonah closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm trying not to think about it. I figure if I just ignore it and never think about it, it'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"That sounds like a super shitty plan, but maybe this time denial will work." 

"So far, so good," Jonah said. 

She didn't see him again before she went back to school and they kept missing each other online. Then she had finals and he didn't come over the winter break. Since he wasn't there, she called it Christmas break. 

Amy ran into some girls she knew when she was shopping at Cloud 9. "College is cool," she said laughing. 

"I bet," Bianca said. "Do you want to hear about how much of a disaster the fall play was thanks to Renata?"

"I'm dying to," Amy said. "Please tell me more."

It was actually a lot of fun. 

She had the greatest time her second semester. She joined things, hung out with lots of people, studied, enjoyed her classes. She even kept in touch a little with Jonah. Then she came home and had to be Amy Sosa, retail worker, for three months. She couldn't afford to do anything else. 

Jonah came by Cloud 9 and looked like he hadn't eaten since Christmas. He also had a fading black eye. He smiled awkwardly at Amy. "I didn't know you were here," he said.

"Were you planning to avoid me all summer or just until the bruise disappeared?" 

"Both?" He tugged at his hair. 

"How did that happen?"

"It's not important," Jonah said. 

"Yes, it is, especially if you won't tell me," Amy said. "Spill the beans, mister."

"Not here," Jonah said. "I mean, if we're going to do the whole catching up thing, it's not happening in the aisle of a Cloud 9."

She forced him to commit to dinner when she got off, which turned out to be nine pm. Cloud 9 sucked. He was waiting for her outside in the parking lot. He pointed her towards a car, a much more used car than his one in high school.

"What happened to your car? Did your dad get it in the divorce?" She smiled. "Sorry, was that too soon?"

"No, no, I just, sort of, you know. I was gambling at college. Maybe too much? So I sold my car. Which was technically my brother's --"

"And got beat up?" Amy stepped closer. 

"That, too," Jonah said. "But it's all good now."

"Are they making you go to meetings? Don't they have meetings for that?" Amy thought it sounded harsh so she reached out and rubbed his arm. He was very sinewy. Which was a word she'd learned in college and was glad it came naturally to her. 

"They do have meetings for that, but mostly I'm just sort of cut off from my allowance and seeing a psychiatrist, kinda a lot. But no meetings," Jonah said. "I still got mostly straight As." 

"Wow," Amy said. "At least you did well."

"Yeah, other than that, everything's great." He smiled at her. He was still one of the prettiest men she knew in person for real.

"I'm not dating you this summer," Amy said. 

"We could sleep together a few times?" She could see his white perfect teeth this time. 

"Maybe," she said. 

It was more than a few times. It was a lot of times. Amy fooled around with a guy at Cloud 9, apparently everyone did it in the photo lab. Having multiple partners made her feel very sex positive. She practiced telling that story to her friends at college in her head. 

She loved her sophomore year. She loved her junior year. She kicked ass her senior year. She did a little dance after she got her diploma at the ceremony. 

"Did not find a job," Amy said, at a bar with Jonah. "This economy sucks."

"At least you don't have a degree in film studies," Jonah said. He hadn't shaved in a year so she had a sort of beard and a mustache. He made it work mostly. She'd been sleeping with him on and off for five years, she realized. 

"Your parents don't need your rent money," Amy said. "They won't even charge you, I bet." They had gotten back together a year ago. It was weird. 

"We'll see," Jonah said. "I am thinking of going on a volunteer thing. It's not a mission because there's no church involved, but it's to help in Haiti? Maybe."

Amy was just staring at his very familiar face. She'd dated and even had a few relationships but nothing lasted too long. Not like Jonah. It was a little horrifying to think that instead of her whole life with Adam, it looked more like it would be her whole life with Jonah. She hadn't thought about Adam in forever. But it made so much sense, back then, popular handsome football player who was kind and compassionate. Instead she was bestie with a complete nerd who wasn't even vaguely cool. Bestie with benefits. 

Maybe she was in love with him. Probably she was. She said, "Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Besides maybe shaving?"

"You just had a look on your face," he said, tipping his beer bottle towards her. "You had a look."

"A look of what? A look of how long did it take Jonah to grow that beard? Was it over two years?"

He laughed. "You know it was at least that." He looked over at her again. "No, seriously, you had Amy decides face. What did you decide?"

She was totally in love with him. She said, "I'll tell you tomorrow. Tomorrow morning."

"Oh, good," he said. 

Though it struck her in the morning, waking up in his bed in his basement room in his parents' new house, maybe he wasn't in love with her. Maybe he just liked the freely available sex. She waited for him to get come back in the room, listening to the sound of his water pik. He cared a lot about dental health. He opened the door and said, "Do you really think I should shave?"

"I love you," she said. She'd been worrying about it for at least twenty minutes while he did his morning routine. She was close to bursting with it. Also she needed to pee. "I need to use the bathroom now."

She rushed in and pushed him out easily. When she was done she opened the door and he was just standing there. Holding his electric razor and looking at her with his mouth open. She said, "Are you in love with someone else?"

"No," Jonah said. "Just you."

"Oh, good," she said. "But like, dating love, right? Not I love you but I'm not in love with you, right?"

"Right, no. I want to date you. Since I was seventeen, honestly, and you were propositioning me in the Harrises master bedroom. Back then," Jonah said. 

"That's great to hear," she said. "We should do that."

"Yeah," he said, laughing. "We should do it."


End file.
